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My battle against fear

Published on 9 May 2020 at 21:23

Dear friends,

We’ve been in quarantine for a while and I have had to face some of my fears during this lock down. One of the greatest fear factor has been the health of my children. As a parent you feel helpless when your children get sick especially when they’re still small. I have 3 kids under the age of 8 and I have been making sure they eat healthy and take their vitamins. But Corona news has been messing me up!  I must be honest I have had a few sleepless nights this season because of fear for the well-being of my family.

 

Sometimes I fear. I fear for my children who have to go back to school in a few days while this Corona virus is still out there. I fear to go back to work and wonder if I still got what it takes. I fear to go back to ministry because everything has changed after giving birth and I  am wondering how to adjust.

Yes I feel fear, but because I know that fear is one of the greatest weapons the enemy uses to paralyze me I fight against it. The fight against fear is not an easy one, especially when the facts are pushed into your face!

It’s a fact that the virus is killing people and putting them in the IC. Sometimes I hear the enemy say “what’s makes you think it can’t happen to you”?

There is a battle going on in my mind, but you know what? Whenever the enemy asks me such a stupid question I answer him with the word of God!

Let me give you a short throwback to when I was in high school:

I’ve fought a few good fights when I was in school. Before a fight took place I usually threatened the person I was planning to beat up. You know why? To be honest it’s not that I liked fighting but we all know peer pressure is real! And because I actually did not want to fight I would threaten the person so that he or she ( yes I fought some boys too, Father forgive me!) would run away afraid and I would end up looking good. And to be really honest sometimes I was not sure I would win the fight therefore I made sure my mouth was big enough to frighten the person.

Kind of embarrassing looking back! If you know me now, you know I would never (intentionally) hurt anyone, but back then it was the survival of the strongest.

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That’s how the devil works! He wil threaten you so bad you won’t even dare to take a step. The Bible says he goes around LIKE a roaring lion (meaning he is not a roaring lion, he’s just acting). He knows he already lost the fight but do you? Many times I gave in to fear because I wasn’t 100% sure whether God had my back completely. It feels like wanting to take a leap but you’re not sure you will be caught or fall flat on your face and hurt yourself and your entire family.

So a few weeks ago I took the time to evaluate myself and did some research on where my fears were coming from. At the end I concluded that I’m a "worst case scenario thinker" and that my fears were based on my imaginations of “what if’s”. I went on and read a few scriptures ( see the end of this blog) and meditated on them. I spoke the word of God over my life and the life of my family. And I still do.

Here’s a note I also wrote to myself:

“ Today I am reminded that I do not have to be afraid. God wants great things for me. He wants my children to be safe, even more than I do. He wants me to succeed. He wants to reward me and lift me up. So what am I worried about? Being fearful will just hold me back and cause me to miss everything God wants me to have.

I’m reminded of the love God has for me. He is not just God, He is also my Father. He is beter than earthly fathers and can not even be compared. And if earthly fathers go all the way to take care of their children, how much more my Heavenly Father. So I need to be at peace and rest in the assurance that God wants good things for me and my family. And in fact, if I truly understand that everything that I am and everything I have is actually His, then I know my family and I are in good hands."

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Scriptures I meditate on:

‘For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.’ (Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11-13‬ ‭NKJV‬‬)

‘Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge, Even the Most High, your dwelling place, No evil shall befall you, Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling; For He shall give His angels charge over you, To keep you in all your ways.’ (Psalms‬ ‭91:9-11‬ ‭NKJV‬‬)

‘Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.’
‭‭(Proverbs‬ ‭12:25‬ ‭NKJV‬‬)

‘Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.’ (Proverbs‬ ‭18:21‬ ‭NKJV‬‬)

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Other Practical steps I have taken to resist fear

  • I don’t read the news at night before bed
  • Joined a reading plan about parenting on my bible app
  • Write my thoughts down to actually see what I’m dealing with
  • Opened up to my husband and other moms about my emotional state.
  • Read books on fear
  • Last but not least; I Donk ask the devil to leave me alone, I command him to! That's the authority God has given us!

My prayer is that someone out there will be encouraged and know you are not alone❤️

Much love,

Samira


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